oh no.

i'm feeling gloomy today.
i didn't go to school. my throat's on fire. my head's on fire. i think i'm going to regurgitate everything i ate today.
which, i suppose, wouldn't be all too bad of a thing; i need to lose weight.


i've been sitting at home sniffling, wallowing, re-reading fan fics and staring and reed thin models. being self-piteous. and i took a 90 minute shower in burning water.


plus i skipped rehearsal.


and i still have a shitload of homework to do. i always have a shitload of homework to do. fuck. why. not to sound like an ungrateful brat, but seriously. when do i get to sleep.


and i've been getting increasingly angry with Chris.


i swear i usually don't get like this. maybe it's my less-than-stunning health that's making me so pouty, i don't know. but i just want to run away.


one thing that did make me smile, however, was that the entire house smells of pine trees now-- we got the christmas tree. i've never particularly enjoyed the holiday season, but i do love pine trees. very much. although i which that no one would use those idiotic decorations... honestly. they're beautiful as is.




despite everything and the sad quality of the day, i've got to laugh, right? it's the only way i can find... faith, i think.