my mother

is an absolutely amazing person.
the best Christian
i know.
one of those give all types
of mothers
who always say
why are you doing this to me.

i used to say that
i never want to be like her,
a shackled domestic
engineer
who never votes.
so i did everything she wouldn't do
thinking that i could
figure something out
that way
through the smoke
and twisted branches.

and i will never be
an absolutely amazing person
or
the best Christian
you know
and i won't ever
give all

because i could never be like my mother
even after
the smoke clears
and the branches
straighten out

because she always asked
why are you doing this to me
and i found
that there's no difference

between doing this to her
and doing this
for me.