fucking herbs.

.

i think i'm getting sicker; the phlegm in my throat is gone, but it's left in its wake a roughness that makes me cough like a 98 yr. old smoke ridden cat lover.

i realized that i have aristotle, james joyce, and bukowski lying on my desk, saying 'hello, i'm gina's books.'
nice. if i may say so myself.




the pretty thursday:
on thursday, i went to moca; at the apprentice meeting, after we finished sin factory planning, we went down to the galleries to look at the new permanent collection exhibit.
carolyn and i turned the first corner and saw a beautiful pollock and smiled. then we turned another corner and saw... fucking, at least 8 rothko's and wanted to break down into tears.
EIGHT.
i knew that moca has a wonderful permanent collection, and that often visitors complain when they come because the rothko's aren't up. but eight are right now.
EIGHT.
if you can stop by moca to see them, please, please do. i was absolutely blown away. i love rothko to begin with, but this gallery in the exhibit was overwhelming. i can't really explain the feeling i get when i see a rothko, standing straight in front of it to receive the full impact of the painting.
have you ever looked up at a clear, unobstructed view of the sky during the day while lying down in the grass? your eyes have nothing to focus on because the sky is endless, the universe is endless, and the angels flying up there are invisible. you have nothing to think about because you're too stricken by the vast expanse of atmosphere and blue. i can't really describe it.
that's the only similar feeling i can think of that might give you an understanding of what i feel when i look at a rothko.




after the meeting, i met up with rick on the corner of grand and 2nd and we went back to moca for knife and fork's engagement party--we played mini golf throughout the museum! it was great; the 8 holes were dispersed throughout the lobby of the galleries, the reading room, the ahmanson theater (which was screening yellow submarine--shit yes-- and the hole that was inside the theater sang a beatles song when a golf ball went in), and the staff offices/storage space.
everyone got a nice, thorough tour of the museum's architecture, and there were also donut holes/pita& hummus being served :]
it was nice; rick and i stayed a bit after we finished playing and left before it got unbearably crowded.
after that we went to little tokyo to koraku for ramen and made the mistake of actually ordering two dishes instead of doing our usual thing where we split one. i don't think i finished even half of mine, and ditto for him.
not that it matters.

after that, we drove back to chino and killed time before the midnight watchmen showing; the movie was absolutely horrible. i don't even want to think about it, so i won't. i have to say this, though: leonard cohen's hallelujah is NOT appropriate music for a sex scene, no matter how badly made it is.

i got home at around 330, and woke up 3 hours later for school, which was absolute torture. not that i minded.



the ugly friday:
last night i ended up shivering and desperately trying to call people while huddled up on someone's couch, completely thrown out of my mind by a terrible, terrible weed trip.
i still don't know whose couch, or house, i was in. i puked twice. weed does this to me every other time i smoke it. i never have good experiences with fucking cannabis. why the fuck do i do this. i don't know.
i just wanted to feel uncontrolled, maybe drink a little and have someone's warm arms around me while i just... float.
but that didn't happen.

and i think i may have ruined someone's birthday get together.
sorry.

maybe it's because i went out with lauren and smoked with people i've never seen before in fucking glendora. maybe it's because i really wanted to be with someone else, and i was too cold, too cold, too cold.



today i went to moca for a shift with esteban and registered some student works. then i ended up at a borders in la habra for three hours; got a few moleskine cahiers, another bukowski, and the cambridge edition of thus spoke zarathustra (which i'm fuckkkking excited to read)





and now i'm off to watch skins :]