the whole earth shakes

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current listen: hosanna--hillsong united.
and yes i am aware that it is a gospel song.




*blushes with shame*
i apologize for not having posted anything in so long. i've been rather mortified by the steadily mounting quantity of sheer work i have to do.. O_O.
nonetheless i'm sorry.

tomorrow's hallow's eve-- must prepare my annual freudian slip costume.



yes, well... i've been reading thoreau again for english. i remember reading walden and civil disobedience in freshman year. thank god i read the latter book first since, if i had read walden prior to reading civil disobedience, i most likely would have never picked anything up by thoreau again. i loved civil disobedience. walden was just...
it's interesting though, because snippets of it, certain quotes, are actually very appealing. it's just as a whole the book doesn't attract me at all.

I learned this, at least, by my experiments; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass and invisible boundary…

I agree with Thoreau in this statement, but I do not think that it is all-inclusive. Usually, with honest and diligent work towards one’s goal, one may find contentment. The matter of obtaining the said goal is not necessarily a matter of concern in obtaining happiness, for it is the effort, the knowledge that one has exerted as much as he or she is capable of, that fosters contentment and self-acceptance. However, in some cases, the disposition of the individual in question may prevent such satisfaction from breeding. I myself am an example of this; with my overtly ambitious nature and vulnerability in regard to the possibility of not being able to attain my goals, I doubt that failure would bring even a glimmer of satisfaction, the output of effort aside. In the stead of fulfillment, I would be faced with anger directed towards myself, insecurity and most likely self-disgust. The mere fact that I have given as much as I can and done as much as possible would never be enough to assuage failure. However, this reaction is particular to me and those with similar temperaments, at least concerning ambition and success; Thoreau’s opinion is thus indubitably that of most readers—one would think that in the dusk that accompanies failure, the rational reaction to submit to would be optimism, most likely as a defense against the maddening sadness that one would otherwise succumb to in the aftermath of having what may be one’s life work be put to waste since, honestly, there isn’t much else that one can do that offers a remote chance at recovering after such a significant failure. It is only that I, personally, have never put much stock in happy endings in the first place.






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