the skin was too thick

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being clean is difficult.

















i was thinking today during lunch as i was watching my friends talk to each other. there really isn't anything more important to the human psyche other than companionship. there are different forms of companionship-- mainly platonic, filial, and romantic; but it's really all the same. that undeniable want of being important to somebody, that need to be loved. i don't think that's absent in anybody. even darius. during this search for love and concern, we pursue our material dreams, discover and build, attempting to mend the broken seam that we were born with.
when i look forward and think of the plan that i've made for myself, i realize that my entire life is that search. maybe it's because of my youth, but i can't imagine reaching that end, that completeness that comes from knowing, in a concrete way, that one is truly loved. my ambitions are so terrifyingly great but i can't be sure as to whether or not all i really want is someone to hug me when i need it, and even when i don't.




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