its not even that okay trust me

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today i wore a dark brown suede coat. i looked at darius and realized that he has so must arrogance and intelligence and also so much insecurity and fear that stops you from condemning him for being so proud. the defects of his personality are, in my opinion, so virulent that knowing him inspires sympathy more than it does anger or frustration at his controlling character. it's interesting how, after getting to know a person, one can make deductions like that that are probably true. i mean, someone who doesn't know him wouldn't come to the same conclusions about him.
just makes me want to slap myself for judging anyone, really. the human being is so complex that it's not even rational to judge.

today i fixed the card that i made for mister roubian. i spelled a word wrong on it, so i had to restamp some things.
doesn't it make you upset when great people-- people that not you not only respect, but love-- people who respect you back and to whom you're indebted to-- suffer things beyond any one's control and it's as though God has made a mistake.

today i realized that the company you keep says so much about you. there's a boy i know who's most likely the least mature person on the face of this planet, and his friends are exactly like him. go figure.
but then i look at myself and realize that the people i hang out with at lunch don't know either who whitney houston is or what the word oppressive is.
so what the fuck does that say about me.

today i went to optometrist.



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