the boys i've kissed

Today I went to school at in the middle of 5th period. I was walking down my block, smoking a cig, then off in the distance I saw a car coming up that looked suspiciously like my father's Audi TT. No one ever drives that car, so I was fairly confused. I hid my cigarette behind the clipboard I was carrying anyway. The car came closer and pulled over to my side of the sidewalk, and I thought, Holy FUCK that's my mother.
I slipped the cig in between the pages of my agenda and put it out as I waved hello to her.
Dammit.







When the earth was still flat, I met a lovely boy named Pascal. I told him that I'd be whatever he wanted me to be, just because he was beautiful enough to listen to without feeling guilty about it.
And then I think I did become what he wanted me to be. I spent a few weeks that way, moving this way and that, dancing with him. I don't know how it happened. Suddenly we were one.
My steps were his. His steps were mine.
It's wonderful. It's all kinds of amazing. But I'm only who we wants me to be, not who I was before. Had to lose myself in order to clear out my insides for his wills and dreams for the two of us. You give and take and end up here. The view's great, but sometimes the way the clouds lift makes you think of nostalgia and the person you were before.