i just sit and question for hours upon hours, and then i'm given morning; because that's just how the world works--it just give you a brand new day

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music: sigur ros--ara batur; makes me want to cry and laugh and run and shout and love everyone





sometimes i want to leave everything and go to europe, meet someone funny enough to room with and share nice wine with him.
sometimes i want to cry until the day shakes away from me.
sometimes i want to make foreign policy decisions and write treaties.
sometimes i just have to assume that the crevices in my brain haven't started cracking and bleeding.
sometimes i want to do nothing but lie in the comfortable, soft bed of my favorite boy all day, smoking with him and being soft-spoken.
sometimes i want to bang my head against the wall.
sometimes i want to be secretary general of the united nations.
sometimes i would rather be a hermit and isolate myself from everyone.
sometimes i want to spend entire days in parks and laugh and laugh and laugh.

all the time, i don't know.















you are the war to end all the wars inside me. the soldier runs, face scarred and mind ablaze with the thought of home. and in the distance a sun quakes. closer, the heart echoes. i feel the tremors stop, the voices halt, and your blood is on my hands again. the fight is still and quiet, giving us time to cry as we need, to sing as we must and to love in the only way we can.




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