the time of our lives.

.




masking tape, graph paper, hurt friends.










i said a silent goodbye today. i saw him at school and we had a small talk.
we didn't talk about us; we only spoke of insignificant things and commented on each other's dispositions. but i think both of us knew that laying underneath the avidly continued conversation there was a quiet... discomfort, i suppose, as though it was understood that things between us have been irrevocably changed.

it was saddening, though, because after i spent five minutes talking, i asked if he had anything to say, and he said "no, i'm hungry, though-- i'm going to go eat."

and then i said, "okay, i'll see you at the performance."

so. that's how the conversation ended. rather pathetic, but i think it's a true testament to how things have changed, strangely enough.

it just eats away at me though, how i've given him... so much, and what he offers at this stage in the relationship is indifference and some twisted form of contempt.

makes me wonder if it's karma, or if i'll receive compensation later. or maybe i did commit some great sin, and this is the punitive reaction.
























i'm rather worn at the moment, and utterly exhausted. i'd guess that it's the echo of intense emotion; when all such feeling is disposed of, when it all rushed outwards and i'm finally arrested in peace, i'm left in fatigue and confusion.












.