vegetarian

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lately i've been feeling fully charged, yet incapable of releasing my energy. as if my very bloodstream was the galvanic infrastructure of a ticking time bomb. perhaps it's just the overwhelming amount of schoolwork. or maybe it's just the trouble i'm having with a couple of my friends. i'm really not all that sure.
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i was playing the piano today and i realized that my voice, even when i sing loudly, is soft. i tend to have a raspier voice when i sing. and yes,it was always like that. no, it's not because of all of the cigarettes. i figured out the chords for "breathe me" and started to follow along, letting the piano carry my voice because goodness knows its music is stronger than i am, changing a little bit of sia's lyrics as the song progressed. it was nice; it suspended all of the internal energy, even if only for a short moment.
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the bite is deep. and as summer fades the hand that rested so easily on your skin starts to feel foreign and misused.
untouch me. let the air and space between us grow; give me the bed of leaves to fall on, and i promise to let the love that was made remain somewhat unspoken.
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i live, not asleep but not awake either, wandering through the dry spots of riverbeds, thinking that i can get the animals to follow me with wide eyes and trust. what am i, what am i...




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