shatter

some things aren't easy to give up. and some are all too easy.

i broke a friendship today. it was cracking and now it rests in two seperate, crumbling pieces.

i feel like i'm breaking too.

it's hard to smile at pretty little things today.

wrinkled soft cloth

today was cray.. cray. crazy.

i have to go out soon to go meet Angela and Eric.

anyway. it's okay if it's crazy. it'll get better, it'll get better...

or so i tell myself...

drift down, down down to where we can sleep, sleep, sleep.

woo woo changes

i've decided to dedicate this blog to pretty little things from now on. not just my life. but things that make it better. y'know? i don't mean "pretty little things" in a trivial way-- i mean pretty little things that make you sigh and make everything a bit brighter. softer. better. lovelier.
i'll post pictures of such things.
and i hope you like such things. because i do. and i like to share things like that. i want people to smile more. john lennon's not coming back to life, so i might as well try other things...


look, it's somebody's parents... what love, what love...

interrupted

okay. so, i didn't go to school today because the residue of yesterday's migraine was still burning, fiercely, in my bloodstream. plus i felt nauseous. so i slept in really late and then went out for food. afterwards, i went to Dr. Chang's, which i just got back from. now i have... an entire chapter's worth of APEuro homework to do, as well as yesterday's and today's, plus a paragraph to write on Shakespeare's 71st sonnet:


LXXI

No longer mourn for me when I am dead
Than you shall hear the surly sullen bell
Give warning to the world that I am fled
From this vile world with vilest worms to dwell:
Nay, if you read this line, remember not
The hand that writ it, for I love you so,
That I in your sweet thoughts would be forgot,
If thinking on me then should make you woe.
O! if, I say, you look upon this verse,
When I perhaps compounded am with clay,
Do not so much as my poor name rehearse;
But let your love even with my life decay;
Lest the wise world should look into your moan,
And mock you with me after I am gone.


i've got tons to say about that so it shouldn't be too difficult.
and the last thing i need to do is get started on my AP report on Macbeth.
work work work.
but tomorrow i'm going out with Angela&Eric.


no one could dispute Jeurgen Teller when it came to this series. especially when it was Winona...

here i go again

it took me 5 hours to record. 5.
damn i'm tired.
i'm not sleeping tonight either, i guess... so much more shit to do. fuck everything, man...

i wish Dave believed me. i wish he never asked me to tell him about my life in the first place, just so he could ask if i'm a compulsive liar. i wish everything wasn't so ridiculous.
but. wishing doesn't do much.
anyway. i should go do my work.

from an old issue of elle deutsch. raise it all so high, babe, raise it all so high...

lime candles

came home from school just now. migraine, migraine...

so i'm not going to go to Dr. Chang's but i still need to go record later on tonight.

and after, i can't go out with Paul. but whatever. i'm not in that mood anyway... he's one of those people that require a certain mood, so...

anyway. my head is killing me. showering me with atomic bombs. argh.

but when i look at pretty things, i feel a bit better.

imagine there's no heaven

today was cray cray. tomorrow and.. the rest of the week, will be pretty cray cray too.

tomorrow i'm going to Dr. Chang's after shool, then i've got a recording session. damn audition. after that i think i might be going out with Pauliodoodle, to tell you the truth.

school today sucked ass. coming back from thanksgiving break and all.

makes me sad.

fuckery

today was church day. woah mother. when am i going to stop being forced to go to that place? you can't enforce faith like that, man... shit.

after that i talked with Angela for a bit before going home.

then i had math tutor.

now i'm back with a shitload of homework to do.

bless you, procrastination.

Peter Lindbergh on Sasha

lord, does everything shine

just got back from going out with Angela.

before that--

went to Borders; i got:
automne/hiver 06 issue of French
The Notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci
3 Pilot Varsity pens
2 Pilot Precise Grip pens
planner for 2007

then went out and smoked/wrote.
i need to refill on cigarettes.

Angela and I went for coffee and planned the next issue of Impact. ended up designing some more pages and getting some organizing done. then we realized that we don't have a plan for binding. anyway, we're meeting later this week for photoshop over some more coffee.

this next week's going to be pretty busy, actually. other than school:
mon: last performance of the season, saying g'bye to seniors
teus: i think i'm tutoring James?
wed: recording session & a lesson with Dave
thurs: meeting with Angela
fri: going to Pomona, i think. i haven't hung out with Paul and the lot for a while, and i think they just scored a shitload of crack. i haven't had any alcohol now for half a month, too. i'm damn proud of myself, but i've got a massive itch for whiskey.
.. and i haven't planned the weekend yet.

anyway. good stuff. good stuff.


Paolo, Paolo!

laguna. beauty. here are my eyes.

and it had been a fairly nice thanksgiving break so far.
today:
swam at the beach. dove under a wave and when i came up, i saw a seal looking at me curiously.
smoked on a bench and sketched the birds perched atop Broadway.
sat on the big rocks and smelled everything and wrote.
walked along the entire shore and let my feet exfoliate naturally in the sand.
made eyes with the cute guy playing volleyball. he asked me what i was writing and if he could read it:
"what are you writing? you seem so focused."
"just thoughts running through my head."
"can i read? let me in your head?"
"i dunno. you're a stranger. a beautiful stranger, but a stranger nonetheless."
"you know, we could fix that problem rather quickly. and easily."
he was conceited and obnoxious and the only reason he looked at me was because i had a bikini on and i've recently lost weight.
then i went to the Sawdust Art Festival. ho hum, in my opinion. the entertainment was cute, though. and i got a little ring with a flat, grey stone.
came home. had a nice dinner. now i'm here. i'm going to go watch some dramas afterwards.

vogue paris. december '06. sasha as galliano in Dans le Peau de John Galliano. amazing

what to write, what to write .

the moment that i am stuck, stuck, stuck in.